What Is Going On?

In the wake of the sexual assault allegations, both locally and internationally, I forced myself to sit back and think of the realities that women face on a day to day basis. I had to force myself to accept that the biggest danger that women face in today’s society is men.

Now, before I continue, let us get something clear; this post is not intended to accuse anyone of anything nor is it intended to establish, assume or suggest anyone’s guilt or innocence. Now that we have got that out of the way, let us continue.

Two weeks ago, I logged into Twitter for my daily dose of news, jokes, gossip and trends. I came across a hashtag and the comment that came with that tag was rather unsettling. I cannot recall at this moment what it was, but it made a big enough impact that I decided to try and follow the thread. What I found was rather shocking, sad and left me bewildered. Then I got to thinking, what is it that makes us as men feel entitled to a woman’s body? Why do we feel that it is okay to do as we please when it comes to women?

I recently had a chat with one of my close male friends and he had this to say:

“What do we, as guys, gain from sharing naked pictures of girls? What is the motive? Majority of us men see women as objects and we act blind to that fact. The worst part is that we do not correct one another. We sit and we laugh about it. Now imagine you as a father knowing that your daughter’s pictures are being posted in some WhatsApp group.”

“The sad reality is that females do not do the same. I am yet to see females who have groups of naked guys, talking about chowing the guys. Posting guys small d*cks etc.”

“I would rather we stand against such behaviour and we start building each other.”

I have to say, I agree with him 100%. We, as men, need to start calling each other out and correcting the behaviours of our fellow man. Some behaviours may even seem harmless, but things like guilt tripping someone for not wanting to drink or forcing them to take shots that they do not want to take. Men and women should be able to coexist without the pressure of doing something that either is uncomfortable with in hopes of fitting in or avoiding being “uncool”.

Everyday Killers

You do not have to suffocate the oxygen out of someone’s lungs to kill them.

You just humiliate and beat them down, leave them laying on the floor weeping.

Inconsolable, incoherent, shaking & screaming as if they were an infant

This is the cold reality of this world of sin that we fight every day to stay alive in

We perpetuate improper and animalistic behaviours that could ruin another,

Life not the same as before, cannot sleep looking for a rock to crawl under.

Turn to the elders for advice, but all they say “bekezela mntanam”

You look in their eyes, they sympathise, but they do not know what you put up with

They do not understand that after the savage beating with the coat hanger, he is the one,

The one that wipes the blood out of your eye and justifies his heinous crime.

He is the one that runs you a warm bath and takes care of you, telling you that it will get better.

Because you have nowhere else to go you believe him and it just never gets better.

No one understands, no one knows that you live with a killer, a spiritual assassin

All of this said, this post was supposed to be about strength, unity, healing and a story of a phoenix rising from the ashes. I have witnessed such a rise. Amidst the pain, the suffering, the hurt, the betrayal and the abuse, this woman has risen through it all and decided to use her experiences to try and help others cope. This is her story:

 

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Inspired by the #MakeItStop campaign

Truth be told, in my opinion, campaigns to stop women abuse should not exist… AT ALL. There should have never been a reason for them to exist. Unfortunately we (men) have let our women down.

How, as human beings, have we gotten to the point where we have to start mass movements, campaigns and protests to stop what should have never started in the first place? The continued verbal, emotional and physical abuse of women is something that should have never taken place.

As a man, it is in your nature to conquer and destroy, attack the competition and always be the best! But to conquer is not to conquer her mind, but her obstacles. To destroy, is not to destroy her body but destroy her fears. To attack is not to attack her, but to attack all those things that would put her safety in danger. To be the best, is not to be better than her, but be her equal and create an environment where YOU are the best partner for her.

Before you strike her, think about the fact that she is someone’s daughter, she is someone’s mother, and she is someone’s role model. How would you, as a man, feel if someone put hands on your daughter, mother, sister, significant other?

Cherish one of the most precious gifts that men have been given and protect her to the ends of the earth.

These are just MY opinions.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke

Show Them You’re a Different Kind Of Animal

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Whilst walking the road of life we will often find ourselves facing MANY different challenges ranging from family issues to personal inner conflicts, but perhaps the most frustrating of them all is conflict within us that is inflicted by society and external pressures… From trying to outdo the top achiever at work to trying to prove that you’re deserving of your position in life generally. Out of all of this one thing will always stay relevant and true and that’s the fact that you must always stand… This can be achieved simply by being yourself because no one does you better than YOU!!!  So when they try to frustrate you and keep you down, rise up all the time and SHOW THEM YOU’RE A DIFFERENT KIND OF ANIMAL!!!!!

[Goldberg background courtesy of http://wrestlingmaania.blogspot.com/2010/09/goldbergs-bio.html?m=1%5D

To the president

Am I the only one who sees it?
Like having visions in my head while dreaming
More like nightmares that have come to bare
The voice of the people soon we will not hear

Am I the only one who feels this?
Like venom running through Africa’s veins
Taking notes from neighbours on how to remain
Plotting and scheming evading negative publicity
Plans made in the shadows like secret societies
Looking for your next free full meal, yeah
When times got real the scorpion was killed

Tarnishing that which Robert Sobukwe stood for
Rubbishing ideals Steve Biko was slain for
Erasing values that Oliver Tambo sacrificed for
No respect for time Nelson Mandela served
Belittling the struggle of Walter Sisulu

Those letters(ANC) Another National Conspiracy
Changing constitution, what gives you the right?
What would mama Adelaide think & say?
What would mama Albertina react to this?

I refuse to dance to your tune, move to your beat
For my President said “I am an African”
My freedom was fought for and I will enjoy it
So try as you will but Mzansi WILL resist!!

Olwam Magona

A Ramble

Sometimes I wish I was born to a world of brothers and sisters instead I was born into a world of coons and kaffirs, niggers and niglets. I was born into a world of “pimps” and “ho’s”, a world of separation and division, a world of arrogance and short tempers and no vision.

Sometimes I wish we hugged and kissed, said “I love you” and meant it, and lived in a world of total bliss. Heck, a world where what is mine is yours and what is yours is mine, but all we do is push and shove, cut and stab, shoot to kill, injure and maim, build high walls so it becomes safe to play,society corrupting you with moral decay, “FUCK You move out the way!” Is that anyway to speak to your brothers and sisters? The definition of “elders” now means “victim”, “easy target”, gotta be honest I despise S.O.C.I.E.T.Y.

Sometimes I wish, Yeah that’s all it is nothing but hopes and dreams and we all know how fickle and fragile those can be.
So everyday I wake up and I make a wish, maybe one day that wish will come true but until then I’ll live in a world of H.A.T.E.

Olwam Magona